


i am not there (deleted scenes and other bits)

by DuskDragon39



Series: ((i do not sleep)) [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Deleted scenes and other miscellaneous add-ons, completely dependent on I am not there for context, seriously, this will not make sense otherwise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:06:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22647616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuskDragon39/pseuds/DuskDragon39
Summary: The scenes I deleted from my 2019 Podtogether fic I Am Not There (I Do Not Sleep) in an effort to keep the word count down.Contains at least one (1) Lucretia angst drabble, two (2) snippets of Kravitz being a dork, one (1) instance of the author not knowing how wagons work, and one (1) accidental Magnus angst.
Series: ((i do not sleep)) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629190
Kudos: 3





	1. In Which You Are Lucretia Now

**Author's Note:**

> As previously stated, these are deleted scenes from I Am Not There.
> 
> If, for some reason, you are not here from the chapters I linked in that fic, then I highly suggest going there first (it's the first in this series). It also has a very good podfic by GirlWithSword which I highly recommend.
> 
> Otherwise, welcome. There be Lucretia below. Follows from chapter 1.

You’re standing in your quarters, watching the last of your journals being consumed by the Voidfish. As the last of the silver binding disappears, you turn away, tears welling in your eyes. Magnus lays unconscious by your feet, his arm outstretched as if trying to stop you. 

He wasn’t supposed to have been in here. He wasn’t supposed to have seen this, wasn’t supposed to have to suffer for longer. Your family had been tearing themselves apart over the past few months. You’d watched Taako and Barry work themselves to the bone trying to find Lup again, watched Magnus curl deeper into himself as another month passed without word about the Chalice. 

Their pain had always felt like something physical to you, a churning deep in your gut as you watched their sorrow and guilt close them off to the world outside the Starblaster. And you couldn’t bear to watch it tear them apart. 

You’d saved the universe but doomed this world and doomed yourselves with it. But you could stop this! You could find places for your family where they’d be happy. They wouldn’t have to worry about the relics any longer. Taako could move past Lup’s disappearance. Davenport could let himself rest at night without worrying about nightmares. Merle could finally move to the ocean. 

The tears are streaming fully down your face now, and for once there’s no one there to see. There’s no one to make you hot chocolate, to sit you down and keep you company or to leave fresh cookies outside your door because they knew you were upset. You’re alone now, you and Fisher. 

You’re alone, and it’s up to you to save the world one last time. 

Magnus is still slumped on the floor beside you. His eyes are barely open, and he doesn’t twitch when you step around him to get to the door. It hurts more than you thought it would to see him there, to know that when he wakes he won’t remember you. 

Merle and Davenport had been playing that ridiculous card game in the Starblaster’s bridge. Taako and Barry had been outside. Out of the four of them, you’re more concerned about the two of them outside the Starblaster’s walls. Magnus had collapsed when his memories were wiped. If the same thing had happened while one of them had been near the railings- you hurry out of your quarters and out onto the deck. 

The scene that greets you is one of devastation. Taako is collapsed unconscious next to the railing of the Starblaster. His wand, still smoking, has been thrown a few feet to the side. At the desk, the chair has been overturned. Dark red ink leeches across Barry’s map, staining the white canvas with the color of fresh blood. Barry himself is nowhere to be seen. 

Panicked, you rush over to Taako. As you kneel down next to him, he doesn’t stir. A surge of panic rises in you. This is the last cycle. If Taako’s dead- 

Hardly daring to hope, you reach down and find the underside of Taako’s jaw, pressing your fingers close to his neck. A soft  _ tha-thump  _ pulses against your hand, and you nearly want to weep in relief. Just unconscious. Still, the fact that Barry’s gone worries you. He should have been here. 

You sit back on your heels and look around you again, trying to retrace whatever had happened here. Barry would have tried to stand when he felt the static- that would explain the chair, and it’s entirely possible that he could have knocked over the ink in his panic. But why would Taako have his wand out? Why would he be near the railing? Had Barry already gone down to search for Lup? 

You don’t know what happened, and it nags at you. Either Barry was wandering alone somewhere down there or he was a lich. Either situation was not… ideal. You sigh, getting to your feet. 

You too have work to do.


	2. In Which You Have a Stick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follows from chapter 2 of "i am not there." Takes place pre-Kravitz fight.

You look around you in a panic, trying to find a place to hide. You have maybe five or ten minutes until Kravitz starts swinging that scythe in your face again, and you’d prefer to have some sort of defensive position set up. Or just. Not be there. 

Alright. What did you have on you right now? More spell components then you’d had last time- enough to teleport away again or to try and disintegrate him. You also have the few power words you’d picked up over the years, though you hated using them. 

What feels like a spell rod shifts in your breast pocket, and you reach in to pull out a two foot long stick. 

Okay. You also have a stick. Against a magical bounty hunter whose job it is to literally kill things like you. 

Great. 

A horrible fantasy cockney accent whispers in your ear. “Behind you.” You whirl, but there’s no one there. “Still behind you,” the voice whispers in a sing-song taunt. Your hand tightens around the stick. 

Crap.


	3. In Which You Are Not Embarrassed by the Grim Reaper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU from chapter 2 of "i am not there." A snippet of how Barry and Kravitz's third encounter might have gone.

The third time, you manage to get back inside and behind your wards before Kravitz shows his skeletal face. Looking out through the hidden entrance of the cave, you find yourself briefly treated to the sight of the Grim Reaper throwing a miniature tantrum over not finding you there. Eventually he stops grumbling and leaves, slicing his scythe through the air and stepping through the glowing tear in your plane. 

You duck back into your cave and begin to plan out your next course of action. You’d come across some rumors that a keep up north had been found completely burnt out, her guards dead where they stood. It was either the Gauntlet or a ridiculously overpowered fireball. Either way, it was something you probably needed to check out.


	4. In Which You Know About Wagons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (But the writer most certainly doesn't)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follows from chapter four of "i am not there." Takes place while Barry's fixing Lila's wagon and chatting with her husband.

He keeps you company while you work. Lila had errands to run in town, and had roped her husband into coming with her down from the local temple. You ask him who he worships. The Raven Queen, he says. The Lady of Memories and Ruler of Necromancers. You think you look confused, because he continues.  
“Really?” he says. “You’ve truly never heard of her?” You shrug from your place under the wagon. [How the fuck do wagons work]. 

“She sounds familiar-” you pause to tighten a bolt- “but nothing I can remember.” That’s not quite true. You have some memory associated with the name- falling rocks, yellow-green poison, and exploding pocket lint.

… You’re pretty sure that last one is just an artifact of whatever it was that screwed up your head, though. 

The guy continues talking, oblivious to your thoughts.  
“Strange, that,” he says. “Most people I meet out here at least have heard of her. Death’s a common thing out here.” Something in you shudders at that. 

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” you mutter before clambering out from under the wagon and testing the wheel. This time, it stays in place as you spin it, and you cautiously lower the wagon back onto the ground. It moves easily now. 

You relax and grin at the priest. “That should hold it for awhile.” 

He gives you a grateful smile. “Thank you. Is there anything I can do to repay you?” You hesitate. Even if it never comes to anything, information about the gods and goddesses in a new plane is never something you want to turn down. (A new plane? Where did that thought come from?)

You nod at him. “Do you have any like… books or things on the Raven Queen?” His expression brightens tenfold, and he immediately starts rummaging in his backpack.


	5. In Which You Are Not Concerned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follows from chapter 4 of "i am not there." Takes place somewhere mid-death montage. Magnus, memory issues, and some serious dramatic irony.

The messenger collapses in a miserable pile at your feet. You stare at her for a minute, not sure what’s going on. She’d skidded into the square, panting something about “Kalen” and “Raven’s Roost- collapsed,” before she’d thrown up and passed out at your feet. You bend down and rest a finger on the underside of her jaw. The steady tha-thump reassures you that she’s still alive. A couple, seeing her fall, run over. One of the women kneels down next to you. 

“Do you know what happened?” she asks. You shake your head. 

“No. She just-” you gesture. “She’s uh. She’s still alive, I think?” The woman snorts. 

“That’s something at least.”

Her girlfriend leans over. “If you can get her to the inn over there, I know the landlord. He’d be happy to take care of her until she wakes up. She’s probably just tired, poor thing.”

“What was she shouting about?” asks the first lady.   
“Something about Raven’s Roost?” you say. A few other people have wandered over to see what the commotion’s about. One of them pipes up:

“Didn’t they throw out their governor a while back?”

“Yeah. Kalen, I think,” says another. 

“Well, let’s get her inside. Hopefully she’ll be up for talking after she gets some rest.” 

\---

“There-there was a revolution-” the girl coughs, and the landlord gently pats her on her back. She takes a deep breath and then continues. “We drove Kalen out, and then…” she wipes her eyes. “He collapsed one of the support pillars. It- it-” she’s crying in earnest now, sobs wracking her body. 

One of the women who helped you get her inside squeezes her hand. “Where did you mean to go?”

“Ne-neverwinter,” she chokes out. “They might have been able to help, but then I took a wrong turn and there were goblin bands and then-” she looses her composure again and resumes sobbing. 

“Was that all you wanted to tell us?” asked the woman. 

“No- wait-” she takes a deep breath and tries to compose herself. “I was- they told me to try and find Magnus. Magnus Burnsides? He- he was at a carpentry contest in Neverwinter- he- his wife-” 

You straighten from where you were leaning on the doorframe and mouth “I’mma go” at the landlord. He nods, and you turn from the room and head out again. Raven’s Roost was far enough away that it wasn’t really any of your business.


End file.
